Dreams & Aspirations (Entry 2)

     Dreams & aspirations are amazing and terrifying to think about. When you imagine yourself accomplishing something you've always dreamed of, is it anything like your life now? I have a hard time believing that my life won't be completely different if I achieve any of my goals. I'm not sure how I feel about living a different life. The change that would come from something like becoming famous is so drastic and profound. It could be be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me or the worst hell I could ever imagine. The scary part to me is knowing that regardless of the outcome, I won't be able to exactly undo any of it. There's no way to just become not famous. Everything you do from that point on, good and bad, will be scrutinized and picked apart by anyone and everyone. Everything in your life becomes amplified. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that type of thing. Everyone says they want the fame and fortune, until they get it.

     

     Even though I'm scared of what the outcome might be, I'm not going to let fear keep me from my dreams. I'd much rather endure a living hell and know that I was capable of accomplishing my wildest dreams than to live with regret and constant "what if". That might sound silly to some people, but my potential is everything to me. Nothing in this world could make me happier than knowing I fulfilled my potential. I would be completely content with being horrible at everything at life, as long as I knew I gave it everything I had. Being the very best at anything in this world means nothing to me if I knew I could be better. It might seem like I compete with people from time to time, but I'm really only in competition with myself. I don't care how selfish I sound when I say I am the only thing that matters to me. I just feel like if you aren't trying to be the absolute perfect version of yourself possible, then what are you living for? A mediocre life seems pointless to me. I truly believe that happiness comes from within. You can't externally accomplish anything in life until you accomplish it internally. You can't love anyone until you love yourself. You can't run a marathon until you have the confidence to believe you can. You can't win a fight until that is the only option you give yourself. Everything in life stems from within. You cannot proceed in life with any degree of self doubt. Don't let your mind supersede your heart. My heart and desires will forever be the governing factors in life. 

     So that's all I have time for today. I'm finding that when I try to write anything extensive like a blog, I often wonder off with my thoughts and I end up just sitting there thinking without writing any of it down. But it doesn't feel like a waste of time to me, so that's all that really matters. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading the second installment of Judge Me Journal as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

     I'd love to hear from anyone who read this far. Feel free to contact me with any questions and/or feedback of any kind. I'm easy to reach.

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