Soul Searching

     I do a great deal of soul searching in my dreams. For those of you who don't know, soul searching is the deep or critical examination of one's motives, actions, beliefs, etc. There are two main reasons I do this. 

The first reason is I strongly believe that everyone should know what they want out of life. How can anyone be happy if they don't even know what they want? Without some type of rubric to measure your happiness, you'll just live life running in circles, never achieving anything that makes you satisfied. 

The second is I am what they call a lucid dreamer. I have the ability to recognize that I am dreaming and consciously make decisions that influence the dream. Unlike some people, I am unable to manipulate the environment in which the dream takes place. It may seem odd, but I prefer not being in control of everything in my dream. When I'm only able to make my own decisions, it gives the dream a very profound effect. It makes the dream real to me. Without getting too in depth, here is why I prefer to do my soul searching in my dreams. I can experience things in my dreams that would otherwise be impossible to experience and carry on with my normal life. I can do things I'm normally scared to do. I can risk my life. I can die in a dream and wake up filled with the overwhelming emotions provoked by what didn't just happen. 
Using lucid dreaming, I am able to find out what truly matters to me in life. I know how much material possessions do and don't mean to me. I know how I want my home to feel in 20 years. I know who I'm scared of losing. I've gained a deeper understand of my conscious and subconscious thoughts and desires.

     Too many people are wandering aimlessly through life. My generation is lost. We're stuck between instant everything and endless nothing. I know hundreds of people who would have a much better life if they only had a purpose. And those are only the ones I've personally met. How many people do you know that have no idea what they want from life? How many people do you know that drink to forget their problems? How many people do you know that smoke to escape their life? How many people do you know that eat away their emotions? How many people do you know that are prescribed a pill to fix what's wrong? I'm surround by everything going wrong. No one seems to know what to do with their life. No one is satisfied. Everyone is scrambling to get a little bit of peace in their life. Forget living pay check to pay check. That means nothing compared to what this generation is going through. We are living brief moment of happiness to brief moment of happiness. People will do anything that gives them a tiny glimmer of hope to hold them down until they can find the next speck of satisfaction that comes along.

     Let's move on with our lives. Let's start loving more and stop hating for reasons we made up. Let's start building each other up instead of tearing each other down for a little cheap entertainment. Let's start helping each other find the way instead of judging strangers for being lost and having issues that we refuse to believe resemble our own.
     This planet has seen over 100 billion humans, 7 billion of which are still living. I am far from even the same class of intelligence of the smartest who have ever lived. Who am I to say what is or isn't important in the world? I could be halfway through my life right now, and I'm only just beginning to understand what it truly means to live.

I'd love to hear from anyone who read this far. Feel free to contact me with any questions and/or feedback of any kind. I'm easy to reach.


Twitter: https://twitter.com/ASIAN_SENSATl0N
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Email: dwilsonwest@gmail.com

Secrecy and Transparency

Secrets are a hazardous detour to a sheep. To a sheep, secrets are a symbol of trust and loyalty. However, I am no sheep. I am a wolf. And to wolves, secrets are a cowardly medium that breeds deceit and betrayal. The very nature of such a thing encumbers me with an overwhelming sensation that livid and nauseous barely even begin to describe.

     Heed my warnings. Don't trust anyone who asks you a secret. When someone asks for you to keep a secret, it has two possible meanings. Either they are lying to you, or they want you to lie to other people. Both of which describe someone I despise with every ounce of my being. Keep in mind that if someone has a secret with you, they most likely have a secret with someone else. Doesn't that thought alone inspire you in any way? For me, it provokes action. I remove said person from my life, or confront them at the very least.

    Many people believe that being transparent makes you weak and vulnerable, but oh my how those people are so very wrong. It does quite the contrary. It makes you stronger. It makes you insusceptible to rumors and extortion of any kind. You no longer fear someone's opinion of you changing when they find something out because everything about you is already known. It is truly liberating to not have to restrict yourself in any way. There's no lying and cheating when you are completely open and honest about everything. It weeds out real friends from fake ones. Being completely transparent attracts real people.

     I might be the only person who feel this way, but I would rather be hated by every person who has ever talked to me than to be surrounded by a bunch of fake friends. It just seems like a waste of time to hide things and worry about feelings or opinions. You only get one life, and its span is extremely limited. Do you really want to spend it pretending to be something you're not? Do you really want your life to be a lie? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone should be two faced and fake their way through life. I think I'm going in the right direction with this transparency though. I always hear negative things about being a liar, but I've never heard anyone say that I'm too honest.

But what do I know? I'm just another teenager who's not sure of which side of the thin between being naive and wise that I stand on. It could be that I've been through so much that I matured and developed faster than my peers, or I'm just young and dumb for thinking I'm experienced in any way. Try being as brutally honest and open as I am. Or continue to abide by the social politics like the vast majority. It's your choice to be a wolf or remain a sheep. To each his own I guess.

I'd love to hear from anyone who read this far. Feel free to contact me with any questions and/or feedback of any kind. I'm easy to reach.


Twitter: https://twitter.com/ASIAN_SENSATl0N
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/donovan.j.wilson
Google+: https://plus.google.com/116087394188670319020/posts
Email: dwilsonwest@gmail.com

A New Beginning (Entry 3)

     First and foremost, happy new year! Today is the beginning of another chapter of our lives. Hopefully this year will be the best yet. I don't have any definitive or concrete resolutions. My only resolution is to be better than I was yesterday, all year. So every day this year, I'm going to become better at at least one thing. If I succeed in this endeavor, I should be one hell of a person by the end of 2014. Time will tell I suppose. The only other real goals I have for this year are pretty ambitious. I want to get a perfect score in one section of my ACT and I want to be a weight lifting state champion in the state of Florida. That would put me in the top 1% of my peers in academics and athletics. I would truly take pride in fulfilling either, but both would make this year incredible. 2014 is a new year, a clean slate. This is a chance to do something special with my life. I've been talking big for a while, and now it's time to back it up. 

     I really don't like when people talk big about everything they are going to differently this year and end up never delivering. It just makes you look like an asshole when you proclaim all of the amazing things you are going to, then you don't follow through with any of them. You can't build a name on something you plan to do. So please, don't be that type of person this year. Either do what you said you were going to do, or keep your mouth shut.

     I've got something to prove to myself in 2014. I will not settle for anything but my very best this year. Everyone always says that this year will be different, but few are serious about it. I look forward to the ball drop in 364 days where I will be able to say I accomplished everything I said I would in 2014. So here's to whatever it takes. 

     I'd love to hear from anyone who read this far. Feel free to contact me with any questions and/or feedback of any kind. I'm easy to reach.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ASIAN_SENSATl0N
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/donovan.j.wilson
Google+: https://plus.google.com/116087394188670319020/posts
Email: dwilsonwest@gmail.com